Blog #1 - "Decades Fathers VS. 21st Century Fathers"
Every father has a unique relationship with their child. In the last decade, fathers do not spend enough time with their children because of many hours of labor. Therefore, the father's relationship with their child is more distant. Nowadays, many fathers are staying at home due to the pandemic. The staying-at-home fathers have lots of time spent with their child therefore their relationships will grow every day. The staying-at-home fathers implemented five components when interacting with their children. The five components include positive engagement activities, warmth and responsiveness, control, social and material, indirect care (activities that parents do for the child but not with the child), and the process of responsibility (Schoppe‐Sullivan & Fagan, 2020). By implementing these components, the relationship between fathers and children will learn and grow together.
Decades Fathers
Many decades ago, the authoritative parenting style is the most commonly used for their children to listen to them, but it has its negative effects which can lead to problems later in their child life. Traditional fathers' roles are often lead to the types of abuses in the family. Traditionally, fathers have taken on authoritative roles, like bread-winning and child discipline and they rely on the wife to stay at home to take care of the children (Shafer & Easton, 2021). Since the fathers are always seen as an authoritative role, the father-child relationships are not well developed and the children have a stronger relationship with the mothers.
Psychological Distress and Fathering Behavior
Psychological distress is associated with fathering behavior. Fathers’ distress is linked to the decrease of instrumental parenting, expressive parenting, and co-parenting. Depressive symptoms are correlated to the use of physically and emotionally harsh disciplinary techniques that are associated with negative short- and long-term outcomes in children (Shafer & Easton, 2021). Children tend to have internalized and externalized behavioral problems, poorer physical health, mental health issues, and decreased academic achievement due to the harsh disciplinary technique that they had experienced. As children get older, the children are most likely to use the disciplinary technique for their kids to listen to them, this is where traditional parenting comes in. Through the experience that the father had, they would use the same technique to teach their children to behave thinking that it is okay to discipline their children. As a result, there would be a negative outcome toward their children growing up.
21st Century Fathers
In the first 21st century, fathers have more time to spend with their children due to the improved education system and through watching other people experience fatherhood. For instance, the education had improved in a way that there is a parenting class that they can take to learn how to take care of their children without harming them in their later years. Instead of disciplining children, they can talk and give their kids choices if they do not listen as a result their kids will have a better understanding of what or how they did things wrong. Researchers had focused on which fathers may support children’s cognitive development in addition to social-emotional development. For instance, there may be a time when the kid is not comfortable in talking to their mother about their "boys problem" or needing advice from their father rather than their mother. Some had pointed that fathers may provide unique support for children’s language development. In addition, a researcher had found that conversation-eliciting speech appears to be produced more frequently by fathers than by mothers, therefore it may challenge young children’s language development in ways that promote growth.
Staying at Home Father
There has been a trend of fathers staying at home while the wife goes to work. These fathers are married to physicians or either work a part-time job. Based on a nationally representative sample, the new measure revealed four components of father involvement with preschoolers. These four components include general well-being, acute illness, emotional health, and role modeling (Schoppe‐Sullivan & Fagan, 2020). Role modeling is one of the important concepts to demonstrate to the children. Children tend to imitate the fatherly figure when they are little in which results in how their personality is developed. Fathers who stay at home tend to experience the difficult side of motherhood. Even though there may be some difficult times, the father will have the time to appreciate what motherhood would look like. One positive aspect of being a staying-at-home father is to spend time and engage with their kids to grow their relationships. As their bonds increase, the father and child would learn more about each other as time passed.
From my experience, I have two nephews where’s my brother goes to work in another country and the mother works most of the time. I get to spend time with my nephews when my sister-in-law would bring them over to my house every time she goes to work. By spending lots of time with them our bonds grew and I would know what he like or did not like to do. For example, both of my nephews love gaming as I do and they would always invite me to play Fortnite or Apex Legend most of the time. When my nephew is at home, they would invite me to play the game as well, but I would tell them to do their business first before gaming. For instance, I would tell them to go shower, eat or do homework first before playing because once they play, they are hooked to the game!
Asian Fatherhood
Asian fatherhood is often seen as the image of being distant, strict, and non-expressive. According to Yeung (2012), he focused on the relationship between father and daughter. In traditional Chinese culture, a father’s most important responsibility is to find a man who can provide a good livelihood for his daughter(s). The highest hope a father has for a daughter is for her to marry someone prominent so that she will bring pride and resources to the entire family. In a 2008 and 2009 survey, father-daughter relationships have changed. The researcher found that Shanghai fathers are highly involved in many different domains at behavioral, emotional, and cognitive levels. The father would stay up late to couch his daughter for her to achieve her academic grades. On the other hand, if the father is not couching their daughter, he would wait for her to return from her after-class tutorial.
Asian fathers’ level of involvement remains considerably lower than that of mothers especially in caregiving activities and emotional support. The term "breadwinner role" remains central in Asian men’s identities due to the long work hours that keep many from spending more time with their children (Yeung, 2012). Some Asian Fatherhood may have a lack of understanding in caring for their children because they never had to take care of the child and they rely on the wife to take care of the children while they go to work. Most of the time, When the father comes home from work, they just wanted to relax and rest because of the long hours they had worked. Through my experience, my father has always been working and would not have the time to spend time with my sibling and me. The days that he was not working are the only time he spent time with us, which is very minimal. My sibling and I were raised by a semi-strict father where disciplinary were in place. From the experience of authoritarian parenting style, I would not want my nephews to experience what I had to go through, therefore my sibling and I are trying our best to change the traditional parenting method.
Here is a clip of a comedian, Jimmy O. Yang, who talks about his relationships with his dad.
Fatherhood: Marvel Studios' - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Many father and son stories are shown in superheroes movies. The recent Marvel Studios' film, Shang-Chi is a stand-out family drama that reflects a lot on fatherhood. Like many Asian parents, the character struggles with vulnerability and the ability to express love out of fear of appearing weak – as shown by his unhealthy dependence on his 10 powerful magical rings (Truitt & Ryu, 2021). In Asian cultures, it's often expected for parents to be fearless, emotionless, and tough by repressing feelings of sadness, fear, and, yes, affection. However, the fatherhood in the movie shows his fatherly love in a way that is often overlooked which is the acts of service.
Click here to see the Marvel Studios’ Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings | Official Trailer.
Applying Theory
Social Learning Theory is implemented on fathers' roles which can demonstrate toward their children. Social Learning theory has focused on the way that individuals develop gender-appropriate behaviors through the observation and imitation of models (Marsiglio, 1999). By applying this theory, young children would look up to their dads as their role models. It is the father responsible to demonstrate a good fatherly action as a role model because the children would look up to them and they would be imitating their father's actions. For example, a father would want to demonstrate good action meaning, not doing drugs or anything like that because the children may imitate the bad habit that the father may be doing as well. The father would need to be careful when they are around their children for them not to imitate the wrong idea that the father may be demonstrating.
The father is the number person that children look up to when they first discover their gender roles. Depending on the fathers' roles, children may imitate what the father does. For example, children (boys or girls) help out their father with the car or other masculinity activities which demonstrate their first gender roles impression of masculinity.
Furture Fatherhood
Many people have different experiences throughout their Fatherhood. Becoming a father is not as easy as it looks. There are many obstacles that fathers may have to overcome throughout their time when taking care of their children. A decade ago, fathers are seen as authoritative roles, like bread-winning and child discipline which leads toward the most popular parenting style which was the authoritative parenting style. The 21st Century fathers gain knowledge on how to become better fathers because of the improved education system. The education system allows the father to take classes that help them with their psychological distress and how to improve their parenting style. As the staying at home father has been trending due to the pandemic, fathers and child relationship had improved over the years. They get to spend time and understand each other for them to grow their relationships. In some Asian cultures, fatherhood is improving with their relationships with their children and some remain the same in which they still rely on the wife to take care of the children. The Social Learning Theory is important toward the roles of fatherhood in which children look up to their father as a sign of them discovering their gender through the demonstration of gender roles.
References
Marsiglio, W. (1999). Chapter 2- Reshaping Fatherhood: Finding the Models. In Fatherhood: Contemporary Theory, Research, and Social Policy (pp. 21–40)
Schoppe‐Sullivan, S. J., & Fagan, J. (2020). The evolution of Fathering Research in the 21st century: Persistent challenges, new directions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 175–197. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12645
Shafer, K., & Easton, S. D. (2021). Adverse childhood experiences, psychological distress, and fathering behaviors. Journal of Marriage and Family, 83(4), 1076–1098. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12759
Truitt, B., & Ryu, J. (2021, September 3). Shang-Chi is the latest marvel hero with family drama. here's why his story stands out. USA Today. Retrieved October 24, 2021, from https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/movies/2021/09/03/shang-chi-father-son-struggles-have-significance-asian-americans/5656942001/.
Yeung, W.-J. J. (2012). Asian Fatherhood. Journal of Family Issues, 34(2), 141–158. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513x12461133
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